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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  July 8, 2011 12:00am-1:05am EDT

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more than 18 years after being kidnapp kidnapped. we are always online at we'll see you here tomorrow. >> dicky: up next on "jimmy kimmelelive" -- schwarzenegger-weiner spring.r. one can only wonder what celebrity will take us through the summer. i nominate paula abdul. >> dicky: eva mendes. >> can i say [ bleep ] on tv? >> dicky: jim florentine. and music from pitbull. >> jimmy: her parting gift was a óç
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>> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel with exciting newsws our show has it very own app. here now with all the details -- guillermo. who apparently is not here. hold on a second. ♪ guillermo? >> hello, jimmy? >> jimmy: yes, where are you? we're waiting for you to start the show. >> sorry, i'm too busy enjoying the "jimmy kimmel live" app to talk to you right now, good-bye. ay yi yi. jimmy worries too much. doesn't he realize that whether i am here or here or even here the show is always with me on my
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ipad, iphone and ipod touch. thanks to jkl app. i can watch video from the show anywhere on the go and i can read jim mmy's hilarious person tweets. [ laughter ] boy, that jimmy is a great guy. i wonder what he's doing now. ♪ jimmy. i told you i'm busy. good-bye! jimmy needs to get a life. [ laughtht ] what a loser. >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" app. available exclusively at the apple app store. "jimmy kimmel live," back in two minutes with eva mendes. comedian jim florentine. and music from pitbull. [ male announcer ] the network --
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>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- eva mendes. comedian jim florentine. and music from pitbull. with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" >> dicky: and now, after all is said and done, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. that's very nice. thank you. thank you for watching. thanks for being here tonight. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. probably know me from last night's show and i'll probably be here tomorrow night, too, so -- hey, i hope you remembered to slather on the moon screen, because tonight, it's our annual "jimmy kimmel live" summer bikini girl pool party!
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[ cheers and applause ] unfortunately, due to budget cuts we were unable to bring in a pool or bikini girls, so -- [ laughter ] basically it's just a regular show tonight. but it is the first day of summer. i know today's first day of summer because paparazzi pictures of celeleities and their kids in the park have been replaced by pictures of celebrities and their kids at the beach. which is a big sign here in l.a. we don't have leaves or anything to tell us. i love summertime. now that summer is upon us, i would like to thank arnold schwarzenegger and anthony weiner for helping us get through the spring. we had a charlie sheen winter. and a schwarzen-weiner spring. one can only wonder wh celebrity will take us through the summer. i nominate paula abdul. the start of summer, of course, means the end of school. a lot of kids are graduating right now. graduation ceremonies are boring, let's face it. you have to sit through hundreds of names until you finally get to one that you came to see.
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but sometimes a student or even a group of students will do something fun to liven things up a little. these are usually the same kids who go to prison later on in life. but now they do provide a valuable public service. and tonight we salute those brave individuals whose graduation antics sometimes go awry. ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: still on their parents health plan, don't worry. [ applause ] speaking of high school
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students, this is -- a 51-year-old actor named doug hutchinson, who you may recognize from his role on "lost." he was on that show. he was in the movie "the green mile." he's married a high school student. yesterday, doug and 16-year-old mrs. hutchinson announced they were married in may. steven tyler is suing him for lifestyle infringement right now. the bride's name is courtney. courtney's parents gave their daughter permission to marry. they are okay with it. this is a photo from their wedding. who would have ever imagined that the leader of the dharma initiative would turn out to be couple? the couple says there is nothing strange about the relationship, except, of course, for the fact that when he was her age, she was, what, negative 19. [ laughter ] even hugh hefner is like, really, that's gross. maybe it's not that bad. maybe he traveled forward and she time traveled backward and somehow they met in the middle where they are only four years apart. but that is probably not the case. courtney is an aspiring singer.
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in fact, we found some of her music videos online. this is a song called "car candy." ♪ black leather dress on ♪ burning rubber down the street ♪ >> jimmy: i wonder what he sees in her. it doesn't make any sense. [ cheers and applause ] what could they possibly have in common? i think, watching that, you almost understand why the taliban insists on burqas. anyway, if you want to buy a gift for the cupping, they are registered at macy's, crate and barrel and the american girl store, so -- meanwhile, in politics, another republican has jump into the crowded race for the presidency. former utah gove november jon huntsman. most americans know him as the candidate who americans don't know. this is him. as you can see, his quality cases to be president include having gray hair, having an american flag in the background of his office to stand in front of.
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he's got my vote. governor huntsman announcement puts him somewhere between ron paul and count chocula as the favorite to win the gop nomination. [ applause ] really, at this point, if you're white and own a suit with an american flag pin on it, you're automatically a republican candidate for president. meanwhile, t tno one's surprise, on the "today" show this morning, john mccain, the senator from arizona, said he will not be running in 2012. or walking, for that matter. [ laughter ] he just -- going to get one of those scooters and drive around. this is good. you know how when, on the news, they're about to go to commercial and they talk about all the stories they have coming up. they call it a tease. well, our local kcal news here in los angeles was teasing a story about the nato air strikes in libya and it would seem that the person in charge of rolling the footage was not paying attention. >> here's a look at what we're working on. >> more on the nato air strikes that may have killed civilians in libya.
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nato commanders say they know what went wrong. >> jimmy: well, libya looks kind of awesome. [ applause ] no idea nato was in the justice league. here's something funny that you can e-mail to your aunt. it's a cat that's barking like a dog until it notices the owner walk in the room and then -- well, watch what it does when it realizes it's been caught. [ cat barking ] [ cat meowing ] >> jimmy: nothing out of the ordinary here, just meowing. [ applause ] like we do. it's a dog trapped in a cat's body. it's the chaz bono of the animal kingdom. chaz bone. tonight on abc, we aired a show
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that, you know, when we want to do something fun here, like smash something over a coworker's head or taser the studio audience, our lawyers get involved and ruin it. they are always telling us not put people's lives in danger, not to kill the public, things like that. blah, blah, blah. but after watching this new show tonight, i can only assume that abc has fired their legal department, because this show is called "101 ways to leave a game show." and the contestants compete by answering trivia questions. pretty simple. if you answer correctly, you move on. if you answer incorrectly, something like this happens. ♪ >> well, it looks like sharon is safe. no boom boom over there. see you later, trish. the answer is wrong! >> wow!
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>> oh my god! >> jimmy: they shot the woman into the sky! [ applause ] you understand, her parting gift was a rocket in her butt. here's another nugget. this is a guy they should get on that show. a man from pittsburgh has dubbed himself the world's strongest red neck. and in this video, he demonstrates how he earned both parts of that title. >> check it out. don't do this at home, because it's really, really dangerous and really, really stupid. cut pretty good, didn't it?
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[ applause ] >> jimmy: notice, you never saw his legs in the video. they are gone.e. i mentioned earlier that today was the first day of summer, the summer solstice, the longest day of the year. and it was also disgraced congressman anthony weiner's final day in office. for him, tomorrow will be the longest day of the year. hi, honey, i'm home. weiner resigned from congress after it was revealed he had been sending photos of himself to women online, thereby disgracing the weiner family name. and now that he's gone, there's going to be a special election in his congressional district because they have to have somebody to replace him. and already, though the guy's barely had time to clean out his office, candidates are scrambling to try to take his seat. >> it's time for new york to move forward. and we need a leader with strong vision and strong g hics. hi, i'm john penistweeter.
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and i believe in family values and hard work. and i will maintain the highest levels of integrity and ethics for you. and that's a penistweeter promise. >> penistweeter. a name you can trust. paid for by people for penistweeter. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: no surprises there. one more thing. we have a number of interesting characters here that work on the show. a large number of characters. and one of those characters is our stage manager alec who is holding a trident right now. alec -- alec, we think he speaks english. he's from england, but we can't understand a word he says. alec, you have no idea why you are holding that? >> i was following something, but obviously not. >> jimmy: we tricked you. the reason i bring this up is because, every day in rehearsal, we watch video clips to decide which to put on the show. and when we show a clip of a bug or someone falling or a snake or anything like that, alec freaks out.
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yet, we're on tv now, there are no hidden cameras, they are right there, alec. he's skittish. he's a skittish british. so, for the last couple of months, we've been secretly taping him at rehearsal. so, he's watching these clips and reacting and we're taping him and you did not know this until right now, correct? >> completely, jimmy. >> jimmy: all right. and his reactions are beautiful. let's go to the tape. [ laughter ] [ bleep ]. [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] [ bleep ].
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>> yeah, he's all right. go down low. go just above the bottom jaw and then on the way up -- [ bleep ]. >> the average pakistani has $50 a month. but he can make ten times that amount performing his death-defying feat. [ bleep ]. [ bleep ]. [ bleep ]. [ bleep ]. >> big, hairy spiders of our nightmares. and it's no wonder we're afraid. >> jimmy: that's a spider right there. >> these spiders are killing machines. perfectly adapted to -- [ bleep ]!
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: there you go. that's alec, everybodydy probably not a good idea. you weren't in the delivery room when your kid was born, were you? >> i was, actually. >> jimmy: your wife is very lucky. all right. hey, we have a good show for you tonight. comedian jim florentnte is here. we have music from pitbull with some help from ne-yo. and we'll be right back with eva mendes, so stick around. >> jimmy: well, hello there, [ ding! ]
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>> jimmy: well, hello there, welcome back. tonight, on the first night of summer, a very funny man who you may know from "crank yankers." jim florentine is here.
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and then, with music from his new album, it came out today. it's called "planet pit." pitbull featuring ne-yo from the bud light outdoor stage. pitbull and ne-yo. tomorrow night we'll be joined by molly shannon, denver broncos quarterback tim tebow, and have music from matt nathanson. and then thursday, rosario dawson, from the movie "the art of getting by," michael angarano, and music from jill scott. so join for those shows, too. our first guest tonight is a talented and delightful woman. you can see her now in the new romantic drama, i think they call it a rom-drom, called "last night." playing in select cities and on video on demand. please say hello to eva mendes. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you? >> hola, guillermo.
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[ speaking spanish ] >> we have a whole thing. >> jimmy: oh, he's got a whole thing, believe me. whole thing you don't know about that's going to be going on. >> oh, really? >> jimmy: good to see you. how are you enjoying summer so far? >> today was awesome. it's been pretty great. >> jimmy: as a kid, did you love summer? >> oh, yeah, for sure. i didn't do, like, the summer camp thing, though. >> jimmy: why not? >> well, i was kind of a, you know, a different kind of kid. >> jimmy: you weren't a camping kid? i didn't even know about summer camp. my parents kept that from me. i only knew that "hello mother, hello father" song >> that -- ♪ hello mother ♪ hello father >> jimmy: and you got a terrible idea of camp because -- >> i actually got a good idea of camp for that. i was a commercial for softener or something? >> jimmy: well, no, it's always raining, and then the camp counselors arerebusive and it's terrible. they get poison ivy.
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>> i went totoamp for, i think i lasted two days and then i was crying and i needed to came back home. i was the girl that wanted to come back home. >> jimmy: and they came and got you, your parents? >> yeah, they did. >> jimmy: that's nice. what did you do all summer? >> well, i liked to do arts and crafts stuff at home. i was so annoying, oh, god. on my time off, i liked to write books -- >> jimmy: oh, is this the book that you brought? >> i brought something for you today. okay, so, this is not a school project. this is, like, me, at home, in the long hours of summer, sitting there, trying to figure out how to write a book. and it was actually a manilla folder, you know, the ones that open. and then i cut off the little tab that comes up. >> jimmy: oh, you put contact paper on it. very crafty. >> and then i used old wrapping paper to make my book. and i stapled it. >> jimmy: this is one of many books that you wrote? >> one of many. >> jimmy: would you be so kind as to read some of this for us? it's called "where are you easter bunny?"
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>> yes, it is. >> jimmy: i like that you wrote this during the summer. >> yeah, during the summer. >> jimmy: where do you think i am? i'm relaxing in my hole. i'm the easter bunny. i work in april and that's it. i'm exhausted the rest of the year. >> that's awesome. >> jimmy: how old you are? >> i was 8 years old. >> jimmy: 8, okay. >> and this is, like, yeah, the mid '80s. where are you easter bunny? it was easter. tracy and jonathing, not jonathan, jonathing, were waiting for the easter bunny. he said, quote, i don't think k there's an easter bunny. end quote. yeah, said tracy. y-a-h. they were very sad. then it was lunchtime. they ate and they waited for the easter bunny. and they waited and they waited. >> jimmy: there's the illustration. >> by pen, you know. it's a lovely story. >> jimmy: that's the whole story? >> well, no, i mean -- >> jimmy: that's a terrible story.
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>> no, there's a -- >> jimmy: there's more here. >> there's a proper climax and a proper like, you know, what's going on -- >> jimmy: hold on. then it was 1:00, time to take their nap. a little while later, they woke up. tracy said, mom, hos come the easter bunny hasn't come yet? he'll be here, said their mom. that's great, said the childrenn we'll just keep on waiting for him. as they were watching tv, they heard a noise at the door. >> i was 8. there were two easter baskets with candy and small surprises. the children were so happy. they were waving at the bunny as he was r rning away and they lived happily ever after. >> happily ever half. yeah. >> jimmy: that's it. >> that was it. >> jimmy: this needs to be a feature film. >> i'm working on it. >> jimmy: i would like to play jonathan. and you can play tracy. guillermo, you can be the easter bunny. >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's very cute. so, you were crafty and into that sort of thing. >> absolutely. >> jimmy: siblings? >> yes. two sisters and a brother.
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>> jimmy: okay. and where are you in the hierarchy of the -- >> i am the baby, by a long time. >> jimmy: were you beaten by the other children? >> more emotionally abused. >> jimmy: oh, really? in what way? >> oh, wow. >> jimmy: what would they do to you? be honest. just pour your heart out if you can. >> i don't know if i should be honest. my older sister would -- remember, this is a girl who would like to do this as, just for fun, right? i was an annoying little girl. my sister was nine years older than me. i'd be like, jan, give me a spelling test, and she would be like, you're so weird. why, it's summer, you're off school, why do you want a spelling test? i would say, just test me. she would give me a spelling test with bad words. like really bad words that i didn't know were bad until 15 years ago. i was like, ahh, why would you ever. and then, she just laughs about it now. things t tt i couldn't say on the show. and technical terms for body parts if you know what i'm
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saying. >> jimmy: give us one. >> like clinical terms. i don't feel comfortable doing that. they were bad. they were bad. >> jimmy: they were bad? your sister was a bad influence in general? >> well, she was a big sister. at that point, she was just having fun. is boner a word i can say on tv? that was one of them. >> jimmy: yes, you can. there was a character named boner on tv. >> exactly. "growing pains." >> jimmy: yeah. talking about boner from "growing pains." >> boner from "growing pains." but i didn't realize any of this stuff until i was older. and there were much more that were much worse. >> jimmy: that were worse than boner? >> that was just one of the things. >> jimmy: did you enjoy school when you were a kid? it sounds like maybe you did. >> i actually -- yes. i was an overachiever. yes. i loved school. >> jimmy: when did you fully blossom? when did the boys really start to notice you? >> yeah, okay. okay.
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i -- i had a moment -- it was summer, had a big summer, the summer going into tenth grade was a big summer for me. >> jimmy: oh, yeah? >> yeah. >> jimmy: for everyone in your neighborhood, i would assume. [ laughter ] >> yeah. but yeah. >> jimmy: especially the boner boy that lived down the block. [ applause ] >> oh, boy. oh, boy. >> jimmy: when he wasn't palling around with kurt cameron. he was standing outside the door. i'm sorry. what happened in the summer? >> what happened was, i was going, in my -- i grew up here and tenth grade started, that was starting you in highghchool, you know what i mean? sometimes it's ninth grade. >> jimmy: for us it was ninth grade. >> yeah, see? >> jimmy: you're right. >> so i was going into tenth grade, my first day of back to school, i had the summer behind me and i remember my girlfriend running up to me, because i was kind of a nerd in junior high. i, like, shaved my headd and i was just, like, no cute.
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>> jimmy: what? >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's beyond nerd. [ laughter ] >> it was for a good reason. >> jimmy: were you in prison and you needed t to ick with a gang? you shaved your head? [ applause ] all right. anyway. >> it wasn't a full shave. anyway. so, my girlfriend runs up to me, like, between, like, first period and second period, and she's like, oh, my god. i was like, what? and she goes, all the boys are asking who the new girl is. i'm like, who's the new girl? she's like, oh, you. they think it's you. i was like, sweet. so, i left that dirty past behind me. >> jimmy: you did. >> and i blossomed into -- >> jimmy: you were the new woman in school, theheew young woman at school. >> yes. beginning of the end, though, really. it really was. >> jimmy: i would think so, yeah.. we're going to take a quick break here, if you don't mind. when we come back, eva mendes is with us. the movie is called "last night." it's out in selectctities and video on demand. we'll be right back. [ grunts ]
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>> hey, where you have guys been? i got totally ambushed by stuart. the guy hasn't talked to me in two weeks. he sees me with your wife, he just lit up. >> hello. >> hi. >> join us. >> hello, nice to meet you. >> laura. she's our new designer. >> ah. nice to finally meet you. so, michael tells me you're a writer. >> yeah. >> i've been meaning to order your book. >> oh, that's nice. >> jimmy: that is "last night." it is the new movie eva mendes, one of the stars of. quite a cast there. >> yeah. >> jimmy: what is the story of the movie? >> well, it's a beautifully written film, actually, by this wonderful writer/director. and it's just about the complexities of a relationship and staying monogomous and all those things. >> jimmy: does the easter bunny make an appearance? >> absolutely. absolutely. but you have to -- he's quick. you have to catch him.
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>> jimmy: it's on video on demand right now. >> it's on demand, which i love. a great way to support a small, tiny movie that otherwise wouldn't see the light of day. so, please order it. >> jimmy: unless you are in nene york, l.a. or chicago, you don't get to see these movies. >> absolutely. >> jimmy: you also have -- what is this beautiful little object here? this is your perfume? >> yeah, this is a perfume called angel. it's been one of the top selling perfumes in the world. >> jimmy: it looks like something susurman's father left for him. >> it does, actually. it's really striking. >> jimmy: and did you help invent this or anything? >> no, this has been around for awhile. i can't take credit for it. it's a beautiful, amazing, very feminine, strong scent and i'm lucky to be the face of it and i did this wonderful commercial where i actually sing in this commercial. >> jimmy: you sing in the commercial? are you a good singer? >> no. but you nope what, i believe -- it works for the commercial and i believe that we all have a voice. we just have to know how to -- you have to have the right vocal coach. i really do believe that.
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>> jimmy: some of our voices are terrible. >> yeah, but i -- no, i -- >> jimmy: i didn't mean me. >> oh, okay. >> jimmy: i think i have a very beautiful voice. >> people told dylan that, right? you really have to, you know, you have to stick -- make it your own. >> jimmy: i guess so. guillermo is the worst singer in the whole world, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: sing "jingle bells" for us. ♪ jingle bells >> jimmy: see what i mean? >> it's so youthful and juvenile. it's beautiful. >> jimmy: it is youthful and juvenile, that's for sure. guillermo, you're the next face of angel. well, it's very good to see you. i'm glad everything is going so well. see the movie, it's called "last night." it's out now. eva mendes, everybody. we'll be right back with jim florentine. [ male announcer ] what makes dove men+care
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[ grunts ] we are! got it. [ male announcer ] don't be the last to know. get it faster with 4g. it's the network of possibilities. at&t. keeps getting better. a tweet here, a post there, and then the floodgates opened. five iihs top safety picks, five consumers digest best buy awards, and 2011 north american car of the year. but the good news doesn't end there. announcing the chevy model year wrap up. get in on our greatest model year yet. find out why at dirty mouth, huh?
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what'v'vyou been up to? ♪ [ gasps, hisses ] i don't know what y you're talking about. orbit. for a good clean feeling. no matter what. orbit. for a good clean feeling. crunchy, roasted peanuts. meet soft, chewy caramel. for the energy to keep you going. who wouldn't want to be a part of that? payday. the sweet taste of energy. but i did.
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they said i couldn't fight above my weight class. but i did. they said i couldn't get elected to congress. but i did. ♪ sometimes when we touch ha ha! millions of hits! [ male announcer ] flick, stack, and move between active apps seamlessly. only on the new hp touchpad with webos.
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>> jimmy: hi, everyone. still to come, pitbull with ne-yo. our next guest gave voice of some of the greatest puppets in prank-calling history, including special ed from "crank yankers." he's also a very funny comedian, and now, a film actor. starting july 22nd, you can see him on the big screen alongside jenna fisher in the movie "a little help." please say hello to jim florentine. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy: good to see you, jim. >> good. >> jimmy: things have really changed since the last time you were here. you have a baby now. >> i have a baby. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: congratulations. >> it's really not that tough to make a baby. >> jimmy: no, but you decided to have a baby.
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i have trouble imagining you as a father, as i've spent some time with you. it seems like it's a bad idea for a child to be in your hands, but -- >> you're right. you're absolutely right. it's like, how can i give my son worldly advice when he's growing up knowing i played special ed on "crank yankers." you're the guy that went "yay!" i'm not listening to you. >> jimmy: no, yeah, yeah. he's definitely going to have to listen to mom. and you're engaged to be married? >> yes. i figured i shouldn't have a baby momma. because i'm a white guy. >> jimmy: right, yeah, totally. >> but you know -- >> jimmy: whenenre you getting married? do you know? >> it's -- i thought when you get a ring that you could buy some time as a guy, like, they leave you alone for a few years. >> jimmy: right. >> you run out of presents. you're like, all right, i have to get a ring. you have three, four years to chill. no. that night she's like, so, when do you want to get married? now, i'm like, you ever hear of that rock band rush.
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she's like yeah. you know they have an album out called "2112?" yeah. that's when i want to get married. >> jimmy: you're basing it around an album? >> yeah. but it's 2012. next july. >> jimmy: are you involved in planning this wedding? >> no. come on. guys can plan bachelor parties. we know how to do that. >> jimmy: and even barely that. >> yeah, exactly. you're missing seven guys by the end of the night like "the hangover." >> jimmy: right, yeah. >> but no. i just want to plan the wedding songs. i don't want -- i'm a heavy metal guy. i want a heavy metal song, like, a white snake song i want. >> jimmy: is it "here we go again?" >> no, it's -- >> jimmy: that would be telling. >> i wanted to pick that because she's been married once before. i said, let's do that one. "here i go again." [ laughter ] she's not here. >> jimmy: you have to remember one thing. she's marrying him. she knows what she's getting into. >> yeah, exactly.
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she did the reser arch. >> jimmy: it's not like you've abducted her, right? >> right, exactly. there's a song called "easier said than done." she's okay with that? she's going to pick the napkins and the flowers -- >> jimmy: you have no impact on that? >> no. she's like, what about the "save the dates?" i never heard of that. >> jimmy: you have to send that out. that way, people can save the date. i'm like, just send an e-mail, a text. i'll text my friends. show up in 2012. it's a lot easier. >> jimmy: is that the official date? >> no, i think it's the 15th. i'm not sure. >> jimmy: oh, okay. >> i don't know. >> jimmy: you should probably nd out. >> i probably should, yeah. i think i booked a gig that weekend. have to push it back another year. >> jimmy: you're going to have to fudge things a little and lie to your son, about when he was born in relationship to the marriage. >> yeah, that's the thing. i'm just hoping he's not good at math. >> jimmy: yeah, well, you know, there are things you can do about that. >> and you know what, my first engagement. took me into my 40s.
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because i needed -- i needed time to think how i was going to get engaged. just took me awhile. >> jimmy: and how did you get engaged? >> well, you know, i wanted to be romantic. so -- it was christmas eve, her family was there, our family was there. having a nice, everyone's drinking wine, everyone's dressed up. my son poops, so, i decide to change him in the living room where everybody is celebrating. >> jimmy: uh-huh. nice. >> my fiance is, like, you can't take him upstairs? no, i would do it in here. so i'm in there, i'm like, this is bad. my mother comes over, there's three people changing. oh, my god. so, what do i do? i do the switch. i took another diaper and i put the ring in the diaper. so, now i walk in the middle of the room. she's running back and forth. i go, honey, you have to look at this diaper, something is wrong with this poop. on christmas eve, you want me to look? yes, there's something wrong. you want me to open? you have to look right now. she opened it up and the ring was there and i got on my knee. [ applause ]
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>> jimmy: you know, that could have gone -- if things had gone differently, maybe she had a couple of drinks in her, she could have thought, oh, my god, my child poops out diamond rings. >> that would have been -- >> jimmy: incredible. you have to have another one. >> but you know, i couldn't pull it off in the dirty diaper. that would have been rough. >> jimmy: you made the right choice. >> using a fresh one? i'm a hopeless romantic, jimmy. >> jimmy: you sure are. speaking of romantic, you have a love scene in this movie, with jenna fisher, who is on "the office." >> i do. and i'm proud to say, she is pregnant. but i had nothing to do with that. >> jimmy: you had nothing to do with it, okay, good. >> no. >> jimmy: that would be a complication you wouldn't need. >> that would be tough. like cromartie on the jets has three 3-year-olds. >> jimmy: how did this happen for r u that you w wnd up being cast in this film as -- >> the writer/director michael whitehorn, when he wrote the role -- the role, the guy's a rere jerk to women. so, when he's writing the role, he said, i was only thinking of
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you to play this role. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: nice. >> i'm like, i didn't know if i should take that as a compliment or not. jimmy: probably not. >> and then he says, i'm only auditions you for this role. nobody else. don't mess it up. which is even more pressure. >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> so i get the role and basically, we have a sex scene. she's bored with her life, so she needs a little excitement, likes a guy rough around the edges. and we have a sex scene. it's basically four hours of just dry humping. >> jimmy: oh, nice. >> but i'm a big fan of that. i really am. >> jimmy: that's good. [ applause ] old school. >> i'm old school. i think it's really making a comeback. i used to do that all the time. girls were never considered a slut if they dry humped you. so i would just tell girls that. i'm not going to go to school next day, oh, girl dry humped me. everyone would be like, that's it? you have to be a professional.
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i knew what i was doing. if i knew i was going to dry hump that night, i would never wear boxers. i would wear tighty-whities in case there was an accident. >> jimmy: that's what's going to make you father of the year. jim florentine, everyone. his movie is called "a little help." it opens july 22nd. we'll be right back with pitbull and ne-yo. ÷x#
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>> jimmy: this is his brand new album. it just came out today, it's called "planet pit." here with the song "give me everything," with some help from ne-yo, pitbull! ♪ ♪ better yet ♪ go to times square ♪ take a picture of me with a kodak ♪ ♪ took my life from negative to positive ♪ ♪ i just want you to know that ♪ tonight ♪ let's enjoy life ♪ pitbull ♪ ne-yo ♪ tonight i want all of you tonight give me everything tonight for all we know ♪ ♪ we might not get tomorrow let's do it tonight ♪ ♪ don't care what they say all the games they play nothing is enough ♪ ♪ 'til they handle love let's do it tonightt i want you tonight i want you to stay ♪ ♪ i want you tonight
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grab somebody sexy tell 'em hey give me everything tonight ♪ ♪ give me everything tonight give me everything tonight give me everything tonight take advantage of tonight ♪ ♪ this is insane the way the name growin' money keep flowin' hustlers move aside ♪ ♪ so i'm tiptoein' to keep flowin' i got it locked up like lindsay lohan ♪ ♪ put it on my life baby baby ♪ you feel right ♪ can't promise tomorrow but i promise tonight dale ♪ ♪ excuse me excuse me and i might drink ♪ ♪ a little more than i should tonight and i might take you home with me ♪ ♪ if i could tonight and baby ima make you feel so good tonight ♪ ♪ cause we might not get tomorrow tonight ♪ ♪ i want all of you tonight
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give me everything tonight for all we know ♪ ♪ we might not get tomorrow let's do it tonight ♪ ♪ don't care what they say all the games they play nothing is enough 'til they handle love ♪ ♪ let's do it tonight i want you tonight i want you to stay i want you tonight ♪ ♪ grab somebody sexy tell 'em hey give me everything tonight give me everything tonight ♪ ♪ give me everything tonight give me everything tonight reach for the stars ♪ ♪ and if you don't grab 'em at least you'll fall on top of the world ♪ ♪ think about it cause if you slip i'm gon' fall on top yo girl ♪ ♪ what i'm involved with is deeper than the masons baby baby ♪ ♪ and it ain't no secret my family's from cuba but i'm an american idol get money like seacrest ♪ ♪ put it on my life baby i make you feel right baby ♪ ♪ can't promise tomorrow but i promise tonight dale ♪
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♪ excuse me excuse me ♪ ♪ and i might drink a little more than i should tonight ♪ ♪ and i might take you home with me if i could tonight and baby ♪ ♪ ima make you feel so good tonight cause we might not get tomorrow ♪ ♪ tonight i want all of you tonight give me everything tonight for all we know ♪ ♪ we might not get tomorrow let's do it tonight don't care what they say ♪ ♪ all the games they play nothing is enough 'til they handle love let's do it tonight ♪ ♪ i want you tonight i want you to stay i want you tonight ♪ ♪ grab somebody sexy tell 'em hey ♪ give me everything tonight give me everythingngonight ♪ ♪ give me everything tonight give me everything tonight excuse me ♪
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♪ but i might drink a little bit more than i should tonight ♪ ♪ and i might take e u home with me if i could tonight ♪ ♪ and imma make you feel so good tonight cause we might not get tomorrow ♪ >> jimmy: i want to thank eva mendes, jim florentine, apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. tomorrow night, molly shannon, tim tebow and music from matt nathanson. "planet pit." hey, ne-yo, what playing us off the song with the song "hey baby," once again, 's happening? this man, pitbull. >> thank you. >> jimmy: thank you. good night! ♪ let her go la la la if your girl wanna play let her go ♪ ♪ so let her go la la la if your girl wanna play let her go ♪ ♪ so let her go la la la if your girl wanna play let her go ♪ ♪ so let her go


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